Featured

First things first

After being on a self-discovery road for a few years, my perception started to shift. The whole world began to look different. And upon learning that I’m a spirit having a human experience, I realized that I’m not my body, mind, emotions, or feelings…but the awareness of all. I can not “be” a disease. My body can “have” a disease. With this being a truth that i couldn’t deny, the phrase “I’m Kenny and I’m an addict or alcoholic” wasn’t congruent anymore. Based on Tony Robbin’s book “awaken the giant within”, every morning, I began to say “I’m living proof that no problem is permanent”. This evolved into “I’m me and I’m free”.  I do this for my subconscious as well. They say that the subconscious makes about 95% of our decisions. And this is based on what we tell it.

                    Whether you think you can, or you can’t…you’re right.

Henry Ford

If you’ve been calling yourself an addict or alcoholic (and this no longer feels authentic for you), try for the next 30 days to say “I’m me and I’m free”. Drop any and all labels that aren’t love and freedom based. Another one I use is I’m me and I’m love. What we say after “I am” is vital to what our life becomes. Today I choose empowering and loving labels. This is also one of the reasons I never say I’m sorry. After 30 days, let me know your experience.

                      All that we are is the result of what we have thought. 

The mind is everything. What we think is what we 

                     become.                                                                  Buddha

Advertisements

Taking freedom for granted.

It’s been a long time since I’ve created and shared my journey. I’d like to say it is someone else’s fault but it’s all on me. I’ve never been one to pass the buck. Honestly, I’ve been taking my freedom for granted.

A lot has changed. I’ve moved 3 times. Changed careers. Gotten a doodle. Reconnected with my girlfriend. Joined a Krav Maga fight school. All while maintaining my freedom from drugs and alcohol. I choose to drink a little now and then and smoke some pot about once or twice a year.

Recently, I realized that I want others who have a desire to do the same, to know how. If I can, anyone can. We’re all cut from the same cloth. More to come soon. Reach out to me, if I can help. 256-479-6271

Staying present for the end.

Mourning anything kinda sucks…but that too…wants to be experienced – me

 

Being present and not checked out for my current break-up is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done. I woke up realizing that even though we are both the “same people”, the energy and dynamic of the relationship has changed drastically. The connection we once shared is completely dead. Also, I see that men and women view and it completely different.

From a woman’s view (i think)

All of the issues, flaws, resentments, imperfections, and reasons why this relationship is over, get center stage. (This is subconscious) No amount of anything can or should change this. It’s part of self preservation, care and love. This is the point of no return. “We” as individuals didn’t change but the vibes shifted. The relationship should end at this point. Stretching it out will only cause more pain in the long run. This is why I believe most couples that get “couples therapy” are doomed to waist lots of money and time. They’re trying to logically fix something that is not on a logic level. Not going to happen. A+ for effort though.

From a man’s view (I think)

As long as the woman has not started to lose herself physically or mentally, we think to ourselves: nothing has changed…we’re still the same people. This is based on 100% logic. Completely ignoring the energy, sexual vibes, and overall feel of the relationship dynamics. During this time we remember all of the incredible experiences and forget about the rest. There’s also the whole stages of grief and loss. Denial being the big #1. It’s vital and a gift to yourself to stay present and not drink or checkout during this process. The biggest gift is in learning the lessons that are wrapped up and hidden in what seems like misery. 

I’ve found that taking care of my body through getting good sleep, meditation, clean food, social connections, working out and not drinking has been helpful in moving me through this process. Today I woke up with a lot of hope and acceptance.

Intentionally Choosing.

It’s your gift. 

When it comes to drinking in recovery, there are some very limiting beliefs out there. I’ve heard people say once they start drinking, all control and the ability to choose goes out the window. This is only true if you’re living on autopilot mode and hold this belief. I want to share my experience of the exact opposite.

For over a year now I’ve held the empowering belief that “I always have a choice” when it comes to alcohol. This has been my truth and experience. Every time I choose to have a drink, I already know that I’ve committed myself to have only one or two. Even after my first one, I still maintain this belief. I choose this in social settings as well. You know, where the food, laughter, and drinks are abundant. For me, the ability and freedom to choose is an extremely precious gift. I never take it for granted.

If this quick and little post has given you hope of the possibilities, share it with someone and leave a comment below.

We do recover

There’s a line in the basic text of the “NA blue book” that says “Now, we know that the time has come when that tired old lie, “once an addict, always an addict, ” will no longer be tolerated by either society or the addict himself. WE DO RECOVER.”

This is my experience, strength and hope. Since this is my truth and stand, I can not identify myself as an addict. I believe this is the next phase in the evolution of people in recovery. For me, this level truly began once I stopped calling myself an addict. Yes, today I do enjoy a glass of wine or a beer every now and then. I’m not saying you have too as well. However, if that is something you want to do too, I can share my experience, strength and hope with you. If you have no desire to drink again but do want more freedom in your recovery AND it no long serves you to carry the label “addict” then I suggest dropping it for good. Maybe just as an experiment. If the label addict still serves you then keep it. I did for about 10 years. Be open minded and see what happens.

I want to pass on hope in my message that based on my experience, WE DO RECOVER.

How to drink successfully.

This is a very controversial topic and rightly so. However, it has to be done. For many years in the rooms of NA and AA I’ve heard a lot of people expressing this desire.

Have you ever asked yourself “how can I drink again successfully”? I have great news for you. I’ve come up with a few personal and intentional stands that work for me. I think it’s vital that we don’t just leave our life up to chance. Take the wheel and live intentionally.

1. NEVER drink to check out.

When I drink I make 100% sure that I’m not drinking to “check out” of life. For example if me and my girlfriend are going thru a challenging moment of growth or “arguments”, I stay fully present for any uncomfortable moments. We even did this on a 4 hour flight back from California. After a stressful day at work is not the time for me to have a drink. Doing this would most likely cause me to miss a very important grow gift. I also include social situations where I’m a little nervous and it would be easy to have a few to take the edge off. Feeling uncomfortable is another opportunity for a different experience in life and more growth.

2. ONLY have one or two.

Part of me drinking successfully is consciously choosing to have one or two drinks. I don’t see this as a sacrifice but a privilege. Just like eating. I could choose to over eat and deal with the consequences that come or choose to eat a heathy quantity. It’s ALL about choice.

3. VIEW responsibility as a gift.

Once I was truly free from the grip of active addiction and free to make healthy decisions, it was vital that I view it as a gift. If I saw it thru the lens of “I’m diseased and can no longer drink”…I was screwed. Realizing that I’m not a victim in life is very freeing. Life and responsibility are true gifts.

4. Know your why.

Knowing why I’m having a drink is important. Just like knowing why I’m doing anything in life. For me, I drink to enjoy the feeling that one or two beers or glasses of wine provides. Consciously being aware of why means I’m not living my life on autopilot.

 

These are a few that help me live intentionally and free.

In conclusion, it’s vital that we all have stands or values. For me these are very personal, empowering and nonnegotiable. Find your own stands or values so you can learn how to live your life on your terms. Thanks for reading and I hope this helps. Questions or comments please let me know below.

We’re not cucumbers.

“A pickle can never be a cucumber again”. We’ve all heard this in the 12 step program rooms. It’s usually said when someone talks about wanting to drink after some time “sober” or “clean”. The problem is we’re all evolving, changing, expanding, and growing. Pickles don’t do this. If your desire is to learn how to continue to CEGE (change, evolve, grow, and expand) and enjoy a drink in moderation, then reach out to me. I can share my successful experience with this.

I’m not saying that everyone in the recovery community should learn to successfully drink again but I have met thousands of people over the years who had this desire and had no where to turn. The 12 step programs suggest that it is impossible to do this. Part of making this transition for me, involved transcending the implied guilt and shame. Once I was honest about this, even more freedom came into my life.

The real honesty came on my way to a Wunderlust event in Atlanta this past Spring. One month prior I was in California for a business trip. After our training on the forth day there, I wanted a beer with dinner. I had one. I kept this beer secret from my girlfriend for about a month. In the car on the way to Atlanta I shared with her my experience. The honesty of this experience really caused our intimacy to increase on a deeper level. Also, I have to admit that due to the shame/guilt programming from the program, I judged her for drinking even though it was a desire that I had too. I share this because as we grow past  our limiting beliefs and judgements, shame and guilt might rear their ugly heads. This is part of the process too. You’re not alone. Let me know how I can help and thanks for reading this.

My ideal day

I’m in the process of taking this on-line course on digital marketing. One of my action plans is to blog my “ideal day”. I’m sooo fucking grateful that a lot of things in the following are already a reality…the rest is on it’s way…very soon. Here we go.

On my ideal day, I wake up before dawn around 5:30. Roll over and kiss my girlfriend (Brittany aka zenbrat). She’s still asleep and smiles while taking a deep breath. I take my first conscious breath of the day. I walk over to our children’s room and see them sleeping and fully feel gratitude rush thru my body. Then I go down our hall looking at the pictures of our travels with friends and family. Noticing that we have traveled to all of the National Parks. Closing my eyes, I remember some of my favorite memories of camping and seeing animals with my family. I make my way to the kitchen for my first big glass of water. Then I head to the pool. I dive in and swim a few laps stopping to notice all the birds singing their morning song. Loving that it’s just us. I get out to read some Deepak and journal. After about 30 minutes the sun starts coming up. Right then Brittany sneaks up and leans down for a kiss and a “good morning”. I turn around to see her in nothing but one of my old white v-neck t-shirts. She’s looking so fucking sexy… I pick her up by her hips and swing her around on the pool chair. I then hear her take a quick breath as we both completely let go. After our sunrise bliss we go inside. By this time we smell the coffee and hear the kids moving about upstairs. We all meet in our meditation room for a 20 minute guided gratitude meditation. We all have our favorite cushions and bean bag chairs. After this I work out. Then there’s breakfast: a blend of fresh fruits, oatmeal, yogurt, eggs, and turkey bacon. We all laugh and have a loving morning. Then I spend about 2 hours on my online business in my office. I usually also do a quick blog to share some recent experience and what I learned from it. Around noon, I meet up with some of my driven, motivated, and passionate friends to laugh, share goals, dreams, and fears and what we’re doing to over come challenges. We all eat a healthy and clean lunch. The afternoon is spent mentoring and coaching other guys to reach more freedom in their lives. I love this part because I get to learn and share my experience and contribute on a regular basis. The evening has come and me, my family and a friend and his family take a quick trip to the city to hear some outdoor live music in the park. We play, dance, eat our picnic and enjoy a glass of wine watching the sunset. After the day, we end up back home. I journal about the lessons and laughs from the day and go to bed full of gratitude for the freedom and love that we all get to experience.